no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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