she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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