I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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