Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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