I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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