she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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