Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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