What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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