who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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