We won't sleep together?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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