Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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