It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
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I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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