But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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