I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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