Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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