Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize