so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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