okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize