I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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