I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize