Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Please don't give away my fajitas
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