I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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