Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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