Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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