Porn is love you can see.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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