We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize