His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
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We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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