Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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