New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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