I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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