y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Someone shattered a urinal.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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