it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize