I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize