Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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