What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize