phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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