she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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