so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize