So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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