Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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