Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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