ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize