He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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