How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I didn't notice because vodka
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize