It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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