I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize