All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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