Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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