Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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