I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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